Sunday, December 18, 2011

Stuff I shouldn't be eating: sandwich cookies


Well, I suppose there's no harm (except calorically) in eating the sugar-free sandwich cookies offered by Kellogg's Murray division (aside also from the possible deleterious effects of the artificial sweeteners and other ingredients, taken in too much haste particularly)...but aside from the only three (3) flavors (chocolate, vanilla and lemon) offered by Murray, when you can find even all three of them on a market shelf, the flavor variety of their sugary competitors is rather compelling in comparison. Kellogg's itself (through the kinds of mergers and acquisitions that seem to be the trend among successful medium-to-big-sized companies over the last several decades--in this case, Kellogg's thus becomes too big to crumble) manages to offer both Keebler and Famous Amos cookies, the latter's chocolate-wafer sandwich the more-or-less closest equivalent available to the Sunshine Hydrox of yore, moderately famously loved by such folks as blogger Kim Burton and writer Harlan Ellison...the Amos wafer part of the cookie, like the Hydrox though perhaps a bit less so, tasting more cake-like and less candied than that of Hydrox's younger rival, Oreo, which managed to outmuscle Hydrox over the decades in the marketplace (Sunshine's Vienna Fingers, however, were dominant in that arena, and Keebler and Kellogg's have kept them available). The sugar and fat white stuffing of both the standard Amos and Oreo are perhaps the weak point, which is where Keebler made much of its early mark, with chocolate-"creme" slathered between its wafers as "E. L. Fudge," and the original "Grasshoppers," with chocolate wafers and spearmint filling (the more recent imitation-Girl Scout-cookie Grasshoppers of the last couple of decades are less worthwhile, but have allowed various competitors to rush in with their products).

Trader Joe's "Joe-Joes" brands offer several flavors (including the distinctive peppermint, then candy-cane, flavor that seems to excite people to Hydrox levels of lust), but the champeen of flavors among the national brands seems to be Newman's Own (particulary the ginger sandwich), despite the Nabisco attempts to do all sorts of things to excite us further about Oreos (including ridiculously overpriced sugarless ones, disgusting "Cakesters" and the not-bad not-quite vanilla "Golden" Oreos) and a few sustained offshoots, such as the less sugary Nutter Butter peanut-butter sandwiches. Famous Foods of Virginia, if I remember correctly, used to offer rather good oatmeal-cookie and chocolate-chip-wafer sandwiches that no one else seems to be marketing these days...rather a pity (the same folks used to have something exactly like the Girl Scout-cookie "Samoa"...which only made sense, as FFV at that time apparently was the baker of GS cookies). And perhaps the Whole Foods (aka Whole Wallet) "365" brand chocolate and vanilla wafer sandwiches are the best of that ilk, among the national brands.

10 comments:

Yvette said...

I LOVE sandwich cookies. But none of those paltry sugar-free things -I love the hard stuff: SUGAR!!

Most especially raspberry jam tucked in between two slices of shortbread. YUM!

Or lemon curd between two vanilla wafers.

Or meringue, meringe, meringue!!!With strawberry jam somewhere in the vicinity.

Best of all are those vanilla sugar cookies with sprinkles. Not a sandwich, but you could certainly slather on some jam between two of 'em.

I'm getting hungry...

Todd Mason said...

I admire your DIY spirit, Yvette...though, sadly for me, only the Murray and the sugarless Oreos among those discussed here have any lack of sugar...

Todd Mason said...

And, you know, I'd completely forgotten about jam-filled sandwich cookies...

Phillyradiogeek said...

I accidentally read "Famous Foods of Virginia" as "Famous Foods of Vagina," which is an article I'd every much like to read.

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

Kellogg sells a few things in India, mainly cereals, though sandwich cookies isn't one of them unless you buy imported but that would mean a big hole in your pocket. A few days ago, our reform-oriented prime minister proposed 100 per cent foreign direct investment in retail sector (it's currently 49 per cent) which, if approved by Parliament, would have opened the doors to retail giants like Wal-Mart and the like. But the opposition shot it down—that's votebank politics for you.

Todd Mason said...

Brian, I guess the first actually nutritional item that comes to mind passing through vaginas, aside from fresh morsels for cannibals or vagina dentata victims (see the film TEETH, for example), would be all those apparently less than delicious afterbirth recipes. I took a lesson from my Siamese cat, who didn't enjoy her post-partum snack--she didn't wait to have a pie made, though (of course, there is at least one notable rationalized-vampire story that deals in other passage through).

Prashant, not having Wal-Mart (who on balance are a pernicious influence on the US economy) may be a mixed blessing at worst...though I don't know how rapacious, grimy and generally unpleasant your current retail giants are (so, none of the big British-based chains, either?). I buy "export quality" Indian products, usually curries and such in foil envelopes, for very decent prices ($2-3 per box) by US standards, at the Wegman's supermarket chain (and can find comparable at Trader Joe's), but probably should investigate the conditions of their manufacture, as neither market has an umblemished record in terms of labor exploitation.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I don't think I have ever had the Newman ginger sandwich. Have to look for it. I love the British cookie ginger with lemon in between.

Todd Mason said...

Along with overlooking the jelly-sandwich cookies (there's one brand that was extremely popular in the '80s, as I faintly recall), I have Chauvinistically overlooked the entirety of British (and EU) sandwich biscuitry, though many US shops have them, including the inexpensive and good German ones.

iluvcinema said...

While not sandwich cookies one should try the triple ginger snaps on offer at Trader Joe's D-licious! And this is coming from a chocolate fiend :)

Todd Mason said...

I'm pro-ginger, whether sliced, in cookies, or freckled colleens (and, these days, their older sisters).